We’ve all been there. You leave the bar/party/concert/whatever strange thing you do on the weekends and you end up at someone else’s house for the night. No big deal, except you forgot to pack your slut bag. (For any new Lusty readers, head on over to What to Pack in Your Slut Bag for a full run down on why to pack a slut bag and what to put in it.) No slut bag = no toothbrush = scummy mouth from slurping down numerous mixed drinks and whatever someone handed you in a shot glass. No big deal if you are going to curl up in the fetal position and not open your mouth until you get back to your house in the morning, but if I’m going to be swapping some spit or even in the close vicinity of someone else’s mouth, I’d prefer we both have some fresh, clean mouths. You can guarantee I’m going to be offering to share my toothbrush and/or asking to use someone else’s toothbrush. Now some of you may say, I’ll just use my finger with a little toothpaste on it, that’s fine and dandy, but I’m fairly certain my toothbrush has far less germs than the fingers of most of my friends who just left the bar. That being said, there are a few instances when I’ll decline an offer or not offer to share and usually include

  1. Open mouth sores. (You should probably question your so called friends on why they allowed you to leave with this person in the first place…)
  2. A ratchet ass toothbrush with sideways bristles. Seriously buy a new f**king toothbrush. Amazon delivers; you don’t even have to leave your house.

Oh and by the way, I’ll even put new toothpaste on it for you. You’re welcome.

 

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