lamontLusty Lamont

Founder and editor and chief of The Lusty Taco, Lusty Lamont, enjoys lusty Tinder Binders from other peoples accounts, romantic dinners at the Brew, and long walks from the scene of the crime. His favorite books include The Princess Bride and Helen Keller: The Biography. Lusty Lamont believes he came out of the womb smiling, curious, and eager for life. All of that is still true. However his life story is getting too long to tell and he would rather talk about his daily goings-on, what the F people are doing, and things he loves. And hates…..And things he loves to hate. Basically, he talks a lot of shit

 

samLusty Mess

Hello, I am The Lusty Mess.  I come from a very nice trailer park in the midwest. Seriously, I had the luxury of a double wide! I spent most of my adolescence lighting myself on fire, wearing flannel shirts, tindering, and guzzling vodka like it was going out of style. After failing at high school, I attempted a career in meth making, but it just wasn’t the right fit for me. I eventually talked myself into putting down the Sudafed and battery powder and picking up a pen and notepad, in which I discovered my talent of writing inappropriately to entertain the masses. Which brought me to Baton Rouge, where I’ve managed to talk my way into a fine career with the Lusty Taco, and I’ve only offended a small percentage of the population. I love tacos, Kesha, Vodka, and not being on fire. I eat Miracle Whip on my french toast, and will slap anyone who objects to it.  Oh and I’m a terrible driver.

meganLusty Continent

The Lusty Continent, is the cunt of all cunts.  We found this gem on the corner holding a sign that said “WILL WORK FOR WEED “, so we decided to give her a job. The LC is surrounded by intrigue, shrouded in mystery and sometimes covered in chocolate.  LC’s complete lack of compassion and utter disregard for the emotional and psychological well being of those around her makes her the perfect freeloader, and has not bought a drink for herself in two and a half years. Her most prized accomplishment was this past February when she completed the 9th ward dash and lived to tell about it.  LC is basically Beyonce…. Without the body, skin color, money, or fame.  For just a small fee, she is available to lease out!  Available exclusively for mosque openings, bar mitzvahs, swingers sessions, christenings, jamberoos, children’s parties, office functions, charity fundraisers, supermarket openings, special guest appearances, memorial services, harbor cruises, school fetes, beautiful baby contests, treasure hunts, weekend retreats, pet shows, Elvis conventions, Lions Club events, strata meetings, teddy bears’ picnics, corporate golf days, wine tastings, sports meets, street protests and any other form of gathering greater than five people,

 

joeyLusty Slot Machine

The Lusty Slot, joined the lusty team in August 2014, and brings a certain sex-offender charm that captures the hearts of 17 year olds(of coarse with a parents consent) all over the world. While he gets excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregards social norms, ignores the consequences of his actions, mocks idiots and posers, sleeps with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally acts like a raging dickhead, he is somehow a catch with the ladies.  If any ladies are interested in being a “Lusty slot of the day”  please send three nude pictures (face not required) to lustyslot@lustytaco.com .  Your fame could be just one slot away!

 

rack1The Lusty Rack

Hi, I am the LustyRack Lucky for me (and you), the internet happened.  I’m a twenty something human mainly made of perfectection, blood, skin, awesomeness, & boobies. I am allergic to the adhesive on bandaids. They make bandaid itchy welt shapes on my perfect china white glow skin.  My mouth (in one way or another) can get me out of any situation.   Whiskey is my life force, though I’ve been known to dabble in the Tequila Arts from time to time. I normally get what I want. Mainly because I have amazing powers of persuasion. They are called great boobies. Anyway, are I am an overflowing fountain of perfection and class~ Enjoy my shit. The end.  #Byefelicia

ericaLusty Tonsil

Hi, I’m The Lusty Tonsil! I write this blog so you can look busy at work. Anyway, for stalking purposes here is a little info about me. I’m a 20 something year old assassin and an avid Tinderella. If I had to explain myself in six words, those words would be “Patriotic, Sharing, and flammable.” That’s only three words. Oh well, I guess I should have thought of that before I started writing. Too late now. Things that I would miss if an apocalypse happened: Tinder, Miller High Life, Amazon, 24 year olds, and Orange Crush. Things I wouldn’t miss: Tyra Banks and Sluts. I have brought the phrase “riding dirty” to a whole new level and I have coined the phrase “let’s pretend none of this ever happened”. I also know approximately 52 slang words for the word “Vagina”. This is probably the least informative bio page ever. Don’t be a shy b****h! If you have questions, comments, a guest post, or a 24 year old’s phone number, please don’t hesitate to comment!