Dear Lusty,

I’m a 25 year old single girl who hasn’t had much luck with guys lately. The last date I went on that I would even consider halfway successful involved me meeting a homeless guy at the interstate off ramp. I’ve recently been thinking about attending a speed dating event. It sounds like a great way to get all my tinder matches in one place, but I’m thinking like everything else in life, there’s got to be a down side to this that I’m overlooking. Do you have any thoughts or advice on whether I should try this or not?

Sincerely,

Desperate and Alone

 

Dear Desperate and Alone,

If you are on the website homeless people meet dot com then you need to raise your standards a little.  Maybe you should try farmers only dot com.  The only problem with that website is that it’s required that you have a “bush”  So if you can handle a little barn yard down there you will be fine.  Although, maybe you are just being  to much of a prude and you can’t keep a guy interested.  You should try

1.  Putting out on the first date
2.  Performing road head after the date.
3. Last but not least.   Stop complaining about the homeless guy under the bridge.  As long as you have hobo stab insurance you are golden.   It sounds like you are very materialistic and should probably get rid of your attitude thinking that you are better than everyone else